


The Difficulty of Drifting Apart

by Palomo



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, these boys deserve better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 02:50:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7873258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Palomo/pseuds/Palomo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Church is struggling to manage the shittiest work week of his life. Unbeknownst to him, when he gets home it's about to get a hell of a lot worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Difficulty of Drifting Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little boredom one shot, hope it's decent. Enjoy xx

It was the most relieving feeling in the world to clock out of the offices. Even if the day was ending, Church finally had a chance to stand under the texan sun. The walk home wasn’t long, the apartment only a few blocks away, and within it his boyfriend would be waiting. He smiled despite himself when he thought about the sunny voice and open arms that awaited him. Today had been an endless onslaught of trial after trial, as though some pretentious god was intent on testing the full extent of his will. Whether it was a extended work load or trouble with a certain orange and green duo, every hour had come with its own challenge. And to top off this shit storm? Just as he was ending his shift at 6, the asshole that ran the tech department (some fucker called Turf or something equally stupid) decided it would be best for his workload if he stayed a few hours overtime.

Needless to say he was beyond pissed and about ready to kill anyone that happened to delay him on his trip home. It was with guilt that he hoped Donut wouldn't be too energetic tonight. The screech of tires brought him out of his thoughts and he panicked despite himself, jumping back, sure that the car was about to hit him, when in actuality it was speeding around a corner a block down. He attributed the scare to being exhausted and vowed to drink more coffee tomorrow. Not that he really needed to add to the unhealthy amount he consumes daily. It wasn't long till he was climbing the staircase to their apartment. It was slightly clammy and felt like he was ascending the stairwell of a multi-storey garage, but that didn't stop the relief he felt at being home.

He fumbled with his keys for a moment before be heard noise from the other side of the door. Right, Donut was already home. A brief rap on the wood and it moved from under his knuckle, a pair of arms wrapped around his waist in almost the same moment. Church rested his head on Donut’s and moved to return the hug.

“Good evening Donut.” He spoke into his hair.

Donut hummed in response. “Hi Leonard.”

Donut didn’t seem intent on breaking the hug any time soon and Church sighed.

“Can I come in the apartment?”

The red looked up at him with big doe eyes and laughed at himself, before letting go and clinging to the door frame as Church walked in.

“So, how was your day?” Church groaned loudly in response.

Donut paused for a moment before deciding it would be best to move the conversation along.

“Right. Well you wanna ask about mine?, because it was just lovely! A sweet little foreign couple came into the shop looking for peonies for their bedroom. but I said ’honeys, if you want something to really lighten up the bedroom you simply must get jasmine’. It helps lower anxiety levels don’t you know.” he gasped and grinned at Church. “Oh Leonard we should get some for our room! They can help you sleep and come in the most adorable shade of lightish red.”

Church sighed. “Donut, half the time my problem is I sleep in too late anyway.”

Donut huffed in response. “I beg to differ, you could use all the sleep you can get mister,” He paused before returning to the previous topic of conversation unfazed. “Thinking about it now I can’t imagine why anyone would want peonies over jasmine anyway. Sure, their shear size is fantastic but even though jasmines are small, the petals are long and rounded at the tips which gives them more character, that makes up for size in my opinion.” Church rolled his eyes and began to head for the bedroom.

“That’s great Donut, but I really have to get changed.”

He wanted to get away from the chatter for a second. It was selfish and uncalled for but he knew their had to be a justified reason for it, he was just too tired to think of one. He was extremely relieved when Donut's phone pinged and the red became distracted with that instead.

When he reached his bedroom he dumped his bag and shoes unceremoniously onto the floor. It took a moment for him to take note of the letter sitting on his desk, but once he did he was filled with a sense of dread. _Donut must have left it there for me._ It was unopened and addressed in his name. From the landlord. Shit. He ripped it open and skimmed it over, them went back and read it again. _you have to be shitting me_. He was increasing the rent by another hundred dollars. _That can't be fucking legal!_ Church ran his fingers through his hair, swallowing the information like a bitter pill. It was then that Donut decided to knock on the door. He let himself in before Church could get a word in edgeways.

“Leonard we need to talk about something important..” He was still looking at his phone.

Church shook his head. He couldn't deal with Donut now. “I can’t listen right now just give me a second.”

“Leo this is serious please-”

Church grit his teeth as he thought about the ridiculous things Donut considered 'serious'. This fucking rent was serious, their very real lack of money was serious. Donut couldn't possibly have anything to say that would actually fall into that category and it made Church furious how little he had to worry about, how little responsibility he had to take. The tension that had been building up all day broke free.

“Goddamn it Donut not now!”

Shit. Now he'd done it.

“I mean… i just really need a break from all the bullshit right now. Just give me some time.”

He didn't want to look at Donut, he could imagine the expression on his face well enough.

“But Leonard-”

“No. I have a lot of shit to sort out, as fucking always...just leave me.”

He watched as Donut’s lip started to quiver and the red quickly exited the room. His hand lingering on the door frame before he shut it gently behind him.

Church knew then, that he was the biggest fucking prick in the world. He collapsed into his bed, letting a deep sigh lose on the sudden quiet he was determined to ignore. Whatever Donut had wanted to talk about had made his mood so sombre, it wasn’t like him to shift to such a humourless mood so quickly. Something must be seriously wrong, and he had just made it clear he didn’t care. _Nice one Church._

He let his head lull to the side and his eyes focused on the photo frame adjacent to him. _Figures. Life just has to shove the past in his face._ It was from their graduation at Blood Gulch. The whole gang was there, looking as intolerable as ever, but Donut was holding them together for the sake of the picture. That role always fell to him, keeping people together. Making sure they don’t come undone, always looking out for them all as a whole and individually. But so much has changed since then.

Grif and sister had returned to Honolulu and taken Simmons with them; he had lost contact with them years ago. Caboose was god knows where; Church had always thought the idiot would come back in time, it was the one thing he could count on from the big blue moron. Not this time though. Tucker was living life as the lucky single father with a boyfriend so whipped he would be set for the rest of his days. He was the only one who bothered to keep in contact with Church now. _All that was left of the infamous blue team._

It hit Donut the worst. Church knew that. Kai still spoke to him consistently, keeping him updated on his other teammates but otherwise his red had to watch as everything thing slowly moved away. Unable to be the thread that held them despite his best attempts. Of _course_ it took its toll on him. He smiled a little less often nowadays, he lost himself in memory more as well. Often sidetracking the conversation because “Remember when Grif and Simmons blew all their money in Austin and we had to be their knights in shining armour?”

But what could Church do? His job as IT assistance didn’t exactly pay the rent, even if it was within Charon Industries. And as much as Donut lived and breathed his job at the flower shop, it wasn’t a chain business. It wasn’t popular enough to give a decent wage. They made do of course, but they didn’t have the money left for what Church wanted for his partner. The grandiose dreams he had of getting everyone together again were unachievable because he couldn’t afford the flights and those fuckers sure weren’t going to pay a dime.

He knew he was meant to be there for Franklin. Heck he was the only one left to be. He was such a selfish asshole. Even with how far he’d come he still wasn’t used to such an ideal, cushioned relationship. He still fucking missed the way Tex treated him, and the way he treated her in return. He missed the fights and the bruises and the excessive drinking. He hated himself for it, Donut deserved better than a man who would prefer such a shit storm of a relationship to the unconditional comfort and love he was receiving now.

Church groaned into his pillow, dwelling on this shit would get him nowhere, but he was certainly in the right mind set for some good ol' self hate. Christ. He should have just stood aside and let DuFrense have Donut when he was crushing on him in 12 grade. Maybe if he had, Donut would be better than he is now. In a relationship with someone who could return the care and softness full fold. Who could make him feel even a fifth as beautiful and perfect as he really was. Even that would still be a hundred times better than what Church could give him now.

The house was still so quiet, he could hear the low murmur of the television through the walls. Donut must be watching his sitcoms. Church knew he had to apologise, and knew Donut would dismiss it like he always does. But Church didn’t want that, he didn’t want this to be swept under the rug like so many other times he’s fucked up. When he opened the door Chrysanthemum was waiting for him. Looking for all the world as pissed and disappointed as a cat could look.

“I know I know” he muttered to her as he started down the hallway. The cream tabby followed close at his heels, obviously intent on watching him until he had made an apology that was to her satisfaction. When he rounded the corner to the living room, Donut was where he had guessed he would be. But he wasn’t watching the soap. He had settled down in his pink cotton dressing gown and had his knees to his chest on the couch. A glass of red wine in one hand, and the rest of the bottle at his feet.

“Donut?”

He looked up and Church could see he had been crying. Yet another time Church had brought him to tears. He didn’t deserve this. Church crossed the room and sat down next to his boyfriend. Steeling himself for the conversation to come. He would do whatever it takes to help Donut, even if it came to cutting himself out of the picture. He couldn’t even look Donut in the eye as he spoke.

“Look, I think I know what this is about and I-”

“No you don’t Church. You don’t have a damned clue.”

Church looked over to see Donut avoiding his gaze. God he really had done it this time.

“Then talk to me, I know I’ve fucked up too much and I want to make this better for you but I just can’t-”

“Church. I got a text from Grif.”

That stopped him in his tracks, if Grif hadn’t spoken to Church in a long time, it would have felt even longer to Donut.

“First text from him in 2 years.”

He laughed bitterly and Church was hurt by how wrong it was out of Donut’s mouth. He started down into his wine glass as if it held all the solutions to his problems.

“…Sarge is gone Leonard.”

The words were quiet, shaky and Donut's voice cracked towards the end. But they still hit with all the force a raging bull. They knocked the wind out of him and left an empty, sick, heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“What? No. No that’s ridiculous that old fucker is never going down, he couldn’t have just-”

Donut gave him a teary eyed look that said he had already gone through this himself. He didn’t need Church doing it as well. Now was the time when Donut needed him most.

“Franklin I’m, I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry.”

He reached out for his boyfriend and Donut collapsed into his arms. Sobs racked his form, heavy shaking heaves that had no theatricality. Church held him tight. His hand ran through the soft blonde locks as he tried to soothe the other man.

“Grif says he, he went peacefully…” Donut choked on his words as he bawled into Church’s chest. “I didn’t, didn’t visit him this month.” He hiccuped pitifully. “I thought the shop needed me more. And my last visit, I, I left two hours early to pick up Chryssy from the groomers.” He felt guilty, Church knew the feeling well. “Lopez and me were, were the only ones left to…”

Church shushed him. “I know Frankie. It’s not your fault, you hear me. You couldn’t have known.”

“but I should have-”

“No, don’t you dare think like that. You were so good to him. A hell of a lot better than the rest of us.”

Donut shifted against his chest looking up to him with bloodshot eyes that broke his heart. “But why did Grif find out first?”

There wasn’t a set answer to that question. And Church was sure Donut didn’t really want an answer to it. What he truly wanted to ask was a question that can never be answered. “I don’t know Franklin, he could have just been the first name on the list. It doesn’t mean anything.” _But I'm sure as fuck going to find out._

They sat there in silence, Donut gripping to Church’s shirt, listening to his heart beat. It was not a comfortable silence. Too much was going unsaid, too many apologies and thank you's that would never reach the man that had been such an influence on their lives. Church would always be grateful to him. He remembered how the man had giving him a detention just for wearing blue, and subsequently meeting Grif in the same confiscated lunch hour. Without Sarge forcing his way into his life he would have never met the reds, and then the blues. And without them he doubted he could have recovered from the state of his home life after his mother’s death. Without Sarge he would have never dreamed of talking to Donut.

For Donut, well he couldn’t imagine. Sure Church had lost a parent, but not like this. Church barely knew his mother to begin with, she was constantly off on tour. He can only recall a few noteworthy times with her, so all he had to mourn were the missed opportunities. Sarge had been the most influential figure in Donut’s life. His only father figure and a constant source of comfort, even if not in the conventional means.

Donut began to move out of his arms and Church reached out for his hand as he stood. Donut gave him a small, forced smile but it was obvious by his bloodshot eyes that he was anything but okay.

“Im.. I’m going to make some tea.”

Church went to stand, wanting to take this opportunity to start making up for his actions.

“No Donut let me-”

He shook his head and began to walk toward the kitchen. “Its fine Church honestly”

“Donut-”

He span around. His tone was tired and he spoke with venom on his tongue.

“Leonard can we not do this right now.”

Donut recoiled when Church stopped in his advances. He looked so hurt.

“I just, I’m making tea okay.”

Church could only nod and mutter back a quiet “Okay.”

The TV kept spitting out some corny Spanish drama, and the sound of the kettle brewing added to the uncomfortable atmosphere. The night suddenly seemed so much darker, the only source of light in the room being the TVs glow and the short reaching yellow light of a few scattered candles. Chrys lay at the foot of a cabinet watching him with narrowed eyes from the other side of the room, he swore he hated that judgemental little fucker.

As he listened to the clink of spoon against ceramic, his phone vibrated in his back pocket. Pulling it out he already had his suspicions and those suspicions were confirmed when he read ’Fat Ass’ as the sender. It was another text, seems Grif didn't have the balls to talk to either of them. Church was going to tear him a new one when he got the chance, he needed to explain why the fuck he would think texting someone about a death would ever be something a decent person would do.

Church opened the text, it read:

 

Hey man, I’m sure donut has already told you about Sarge. The old fuck put me as his executor, had to give me one last stupid job to do. So anyway you two are mentioned in this thing, congrats or whatever. I’ll forward you a copy in a bit.

 

Underneath the ellipsis line appeared and disappeared sporadically, until eventually whatever was going to be said was left hanging in the air. Church wouldn’t berate Grif for struggling with this, it was quite obvious he was trying to hide behind an air of indifference. Church put his phone away again. There wasn’t much else he could do. And as Donut came back to share the couch with him in silence, and Church sipped absentmindedly from the too expensive cup of chamomile tea, he remembered that there never was.


End file.
